When I last updated everyone we were advised to start another round of the IVF medications and another retrieval. I started my shots 1 week ago and received some news yesterday that would set us back yet again. Considering I have premature ovarian disorder and only one working ovary the hormones created painful cysts that interfered with my ability to produce eggs so ultimately the decision was to stop the medication and wait another month and start allllllllll over....again.
I will admit that my faith and hope are dwindling after each set back so my mind has start to wonder about my other options that I was so quick to dismiss in the first place. Life is funny. Geoff and I are doing everything possible to have the family we have always wanted but it feels like 'someone' has other plans for us. When I say life is funny it's because I see people having babies that didn't plan it, marriage is falling apart, neglect or abuse to the kids they do have and even abortion but the couple who want/need a family because of all the overflowing love they have will inevitable have a difficult time conceiving. Ironic? No.... irritating!
Life isn't fair and dwelling on the fact that we were delt a crappy hand of cards won't get me anywhere productive. We just have to work 10x as hard for what we want and as long as we give our all we know we did all we could. I have started thinking of my other options. Before agreeing to do IVF we talked about adoption and although I think adoption is a wonderful thing I thought it would be hard for me to connect to someone elses blood. I haven't stop thinking about this option because on Easter I had the opportunity to hold and care for a 3month old baby girl and she made my heart melt. I now believe that if I can have a connection like that with a child that isn't mine then if I adopt a baby the feelings will be there and same blood or not that tiny human will capture my heart and that is all that matters!
We aren't even close to being done with this crazy rollercoaster journey. I couldn't do it without my loving husband and his support, my amazing best friends April & Haleigh who are always there for me, and of course both of our parents!! Thank you soooo much!!
Also thank you to Nancy Smith who gives the best advise and I would be going crazy without her!!
Lastly, I am working with a friend who is in school for Holistic Nutrition and she is helping me tremendously with my celiac disease and getting healthy to carry a baby! I am excited for this new journey!
I'll be back soooooon with more updates :)
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